It’s difficult to get a real sense of the actual person. You mostly get their version of them, sort of like a highlight reel.

And with people sometimes carefully crafting their response or reply, its not always easy to know what kind of personality they have, or what they’re really like.

The first date can be tough. Both parties are still getting comfortable with each other and there’s an awkwardness in the air.

Besides the usual things you don’t want to do (like talking about yourself too much) there are 10 things to avoid in conversation to help your date go smoother.

1. “I’ve watched this movie with my ex.”

2. “My ex and I use to come here all of the time.”

3. On the phone (if you are a man): “I will be home by 10 mom”

4. “Can I have a doggy bag to take with me” (when you are in a restaurant)

5. “My dad/mom wants me to be home by nine.”

6. “Come and meet my parents.”

7. “I have never felt better since taking Prozac.”

8. “I have had 10 lovers; how many have you had?”

9. “I only split with my boyfriend/girlfriend last week.”

10. “Do you mind getting the bill? I am broke” (if you are a man).

Some quick online dating tips on red flags to watch for…

it should come as no surprise really. Consider how many people use social networks like Facebook on a regular basis. But looking for love there seems like a mix of creepy with a dash of stalker. But with online dating sites the members are all share a common interest. To find someone of reasonable compatibility that they might try going out with, and see where it leads.

Let’s suppose you don’t want to use online dating or personals websites. Well, you can always try the bar scene, or beg your friends for introductions. If you find yourself having trouble meeting others, there is hope. Put an end to the lonely weekends and say hello to the D.E.N.N.I.S. System of Seduction.

If you’re new to online dating, or maybe you’ve been at it a while but it doesn’t seem to be going well, you may be be pleased to know that Harper College in Illinois is offering a one day class for online dating.

Ava Whaley, who met her husband online, offers her students instruction on setting up a promising profile on a variety of different dating sites to where to meet and what to say when meeting offline.

“Even with all its pitfalls, it’s the best way to meet people today.”

Although the media often portray online dating in a negative light, there’s no denying its the best way to expand your personal network beyond friends, family or co-workers in hopes of finding someone new you might be compatible with.

But now we have online dating where you can join a website for every type, from vegans and tatto lovers to ethnic groups and most recenly there is the beautiful people site in which you have to apply and be accepted by the community for your application to be approved.

Jessica is hopeful that she’ll find love again, and this time may even let her fingers do the talking online. 

“I have to say I’ve never tried finding love online,” Simpson admitted. “I mean, anybody who can find love online, so be it.”  

Whether it’s building a relationship by emailing, chatting online or utilizing dating networks, the singer, 29, says she has no problems with finding romance through online dating.

Captain Tongue – Someone misinformed this person how it works

Swirler – What are you looking for?

Mint Required – Leaves you really needing to come up for air

Jabbers – They’re like lizards with their tongue

The Clanker – When teeth clack together

Sloppy Joe – The name says it all.

Missing any?

Ladies, your night in shining amour awaits you!

There are a few things you want to avoid doing (or saying) if you hope to go out with someone more than once. Many of us are guilty of them, and just being aware of it can make all the difference.

Avoid discussing your ex. If they bring it up, simply answer the question and move on. But don’t dwell on it or make any kind of negative remarks.

Keep in mind what you look might not be the same for your date. Avoid forcing your faves on them. You probably wouldn’t like it done to you either.

Try to keep the bragging to the absolute minimum. This is often a deal breaker and should be avoided.

There are lots of other things to keep in mind, but starting and focussing on just those three will improve your odds to talking about where your second date might be.