It goes without saying that some cocktails are just too fruity for real men. Although there isn’t a phallic option among beverages, here are a few to steer clear of…

• Tequila Sunrise – one look and you know its a girly drink
• Malibu & Diet – a favorite with the college ladies for low calories
• Fuzzy Navel – it even sounds girly!
• Lemon Drop – A favorite of Oprah – ’nuff said
• Amaretto Sour – a good rule of thumb; if it comes with a cherry, forget it
• Strawberry Margarita – you can’t be serious
• Wine Spritzer – are you chasing women?
• Appletini – Fabulous! NOT!
• Cosmopolitan – You’re going to have to man it up somehow

Note that any alcopop or cocktails that come with little umbrellas need a think too.